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With classified ads dying, the search for bandmates has gone
digital. Monster.com content director Norma Gaffin weighs in
on the effectiveness of three recent po stings.

THE CIRCUMSTANCES: Drummer and writer/editor Christopher Weingarten (he’s contributed to Spin) quit in July to work on a book about Public Enemy. THE MYSPACE POSTING: “After nearly three years of bashing, we’re sad to report that our drummer is leaving. We’re looking for someone who can tour a minimum of four months out of the year…. They’ll have some difficult shoes to fill.” NORMA SAYS: “This ad was more an homage to the departing drummer than outreach to recruit a replacement, which may make some weary to try and fill those shoes.” THE RESULT: At press time, they’re still searching. “There have been under 20 or so replies—a couple of people have ^been pretty badass,” says singer and bassist BJ Warshaw, who is eagerly awaiting your e-mail.

THE CIRCUMSTANCES: The L.A. psych-rockers wanted an additional guitarist to help them re-create their new album, HeavyDeavySkullLover(Tee Pee), on the road. THE MYSPACE POSTING: “The Warlocks are seeking one guitar player boy or girl that doesn’t mind switching to keys. You must be able to play well. I’m finally feeling up for shows…. We need someone cool to help out while we continue to get our shit together.” NORMA SAYS: “Wow, bands really think it’s great to be honest and air their dirty laundry? Was New Coke really better than old? No! But the marketers had us believing it was. Spin, spin, spin!” THE RESULT: After receiving hundreds of e-mails, lead singer Bobby Hecksher decided to pull the ad. “A lot of people had a fantasy outlook of bands,” he says. “It’s just retarded. It takes the soul out of an artistic endeavor.”

_THE CIRCUMSTANCES: The indie popsters lost three members between 2005’s Several Arrows Later and their latest, Last Light (Altitude). THE MYSPACE POSTING: “Cellists, violists, please write to us. If we don’t respond, it just mean^s w^{e are} either too busy, or [we] are having an argument ^that will be later classified as a small spat…about how I am always right. Right? Right.” _NORMA SAYS: “The ad seems a little egocentric. Who would want to walk into such a high-maintenance situation? Sell the job. Sell the possibilities. Sell the dream and passion that made you start the band in the first place.” THE RESULT: Success (mostly)! Pond found bassist Matthew Daniel Siskin and keyboardist Chris Hansen from their online plea, but no cellist. BEN COLLINS

The Spin

20Ranking on Pop Culture Since 1998

GETTING SUED BY JON BON JOVI OVER A COFFEE

1 DRINK CALLED MIJOVI The guy behind Richie

Sambuca can empathize

₂ EAGLES PREPARE TO RELEASE NEW ALBUM We’re _{kind of curious. No joke.}

THE HEARTBREAK KID REMAKE In which Ben Stiller

3plays a self-deprecating, oft-shirtless yet ultimately redeemable neurotic. Not that we’ve seen it yet.

₄ VANESSA CARLTON’S ALBUM WITH IRV GOTTI Just look what he did for Charli Baltimore’s career!

INDIE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES Any idea how much papier-mâché it takes to make a Tokyo Police Club?

BILLY CORGAN SCOLDS BAND FOR LIVE FLUBS His diatribes are 16 minutes long, with a flange effect

THE CANDIDATES’ YOUTUBE DEBATES Yes, Tay Zonday is for voucher-funded health care reform

FUGAZI REUNION RUMORS ARE FALSE And we had just finished ironing our LICK BUSH IN ’ ²⁹ T-shirt!

THE VAN HALEN TOUR IS FINALL Y A GO Alas, we used our best Gary Cherone jokes in the spring

KID ROCK’S ROCK AND ROLL JESUS The Columbus Day present of choice for horny, drunken IT guys

SALTYKA.BLOGSPOT.COM So much free ’⁸⁰s synth pop, you’ll krack your keytar

STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP, FINALLY ON DVD

How could a show that featured shrill TV writers and a lute-playing Sting fail to connect with the public? ⁵ 6

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₁₃ FOX HOLDING OPEN AUDITIONS FOR BIGGIE _{BIOPIC Kenan Thompson, clear your schedule}

^{14 HEATH LEDGER AS THE JOKER IN THE DARK KNIGHT} RAILER Is it just us, or does he sound a bit like the Noid?

15 ^{TENTH-ANNIVERSARY REISSUE OF THE CRYSTAL} METHOD’S VEGAS We finally got the band’s name

^{16 NOSE-HAIR TRIMMER REVIEWS ON AMAZON.COM} We place all our trust in you, Nostrildamus¹¹³

RICHARD HAWLEY’S SWANKY LADY’S BRIDGE

17 Somewhere in heaven, Lee Hazlewood lights a cigarette, strokes his mustache, and smiles approvingly

VINTAGE SISKEL & EBERT, NOW AVAILABLE

18 ONLINE In two minutes, Gene articulates everything _{we always wanted to say about Critters 2}

^{19 THE R. KELLY TRIAL BEGINS Bad news: a pooping} midget is your classiest character witness

^{20 SANTANA AND CHAD KROEGER COLLABORATE It’s} enough to make us reach for our fifth Richie Sambuca

CLOCK WISE FROM TOP: TOD SEELIE; JEREM Y BALDERSOPHNO; GTORECGREQD. I T