A.K. A. Hannah Rarick
AGE 20
HQ Lancaster, Ohio
Bank teller
TV appearances, movie clips, and old commercials featuring the Monkees
135 in five months
Two hours a day, but she’s done 12 hours straight
“I love the Monkees so much I felt others should be able to experience them, too. They are so much better than today’s music.”
A scene from a 1971 Brady Bunch episode, where Marcia begs frontman Davy Jones to play at her prom
“LOL that was so gay.”
DAY JOB
SPECIALTY
CLIPS POS TED
UPLOAD TIME
Matthew Rodriguez
27
New York City
Middle-school teacher
Live clips, official videos, and homemade visual mash-ups of Interpol
More than 44
Up to four hours a day
WH Y THE Y DO IT
CHOICE CLIP
T YPICAL VIE WER RESPONSE
Tommy Toma
50
Staten Island, New York
Owns a cleaning company
AM radio gold, set to slide shows of puppies, teddy bears, and smooching couples
More than 940
Three hours a day; fields 1,000 requests a week
“I always wanted to be a VJ for MTV; this might be as close as I come...unless my wife kicks me out for cluttering our house with vinyl.”
Christopher Cross’ 1983 three-hanky elegy “Think of Laura,” illustrated with photos of first lady Laura Bush
“Laura Bush is total class. I bet she was a babe when she was younger.”
“To keep in touch with other Interpol fans. We’re all sort of introverted and alienated—that’s why we need each other.”
A homemade video for “Pace Is the Trick,” which uses footage from David Lynch’s silent short The Grandmother
“This song is comparable to beethoven and that shit.” PETER GERSTENZANG
1 BETTING ON THE OSCARS Lemmon and Matthau to split the No Country for Grumpy Old Men vote
2 JACK PEÑATE’S MATINÉE A lot like Billy Bragg, if Billy Bragg took Ritalin and made you want to skank
3 NICK LOWE’S JESUS OF COOL REISSUED “Marie Provost” still the best song about corpse-eating dogs
4 NAOMI CAMPBELL MUGGED AT LED ZEP GIG? “I felt a bustle in my hedgerow, then my purse was gone!”
MORRISSEY THREATENS NME WITH SUIT FOR
5 PRINTING ANTI-IMMIGRATION RANT They called it “Mozzer’s finest quasi-racist release in years”
JOE SATRIANI’S NEW ALBUM INCLUDES A TRACK 6 CALLED “PROFESSOR SATCHIFUNKALOUS” Finally, a song for and about well-educated dinosaurs
HILLARY TAPS BIG HEAD TODD AND THE MONSTERS 7 FOR CAMPAIGN THEME Meanwhile, Bill Richardson can’t even get Rusted Root to return his calls
8 SEVEN-FIGURE MP3-BLOG SALES It works out to about $2 for each gushing Sufjan Stevens post
9 THE SWEAT’S NO MORE RUNNING A cracking, import-only CD of late-’70s Irish power pop
10 THE KIND OF PERSON WHO ENDORSES OBSCURE ’70s IRISH POWER-POP RECORDS Pitiful, no?
11 PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL Our second most beloved prognosticating rodent, right after Sean Hannity
12 THE SITUATION ROOM THEME SURE SOUNDS LIKE J DILLA Wolf Blitzer was a huge Slum Village fan
Strange Brew After spending more than a decade in the van-rock trenches as leader of veteran Los Angeles psych-cabaret act the Negro Problem, the performer known simply as Stew (born Mark Stewart, left) has written himself into a smart and rocking musical. Hipper than Rent and Spring Awakening combined, Passing Strange (cowritten with bassist Heidi Rodewald) opens in Broadway’s Belasco Theater on February 28 after a glowingly reviewed stint in a downtown venue. Starring Stew, 46, as the narrator, the semiautobiographical rock opera follows his sexual, pharmaceutical, and artistic coming of age, with stops in black bourgeois Los Angeles and weed-caked Amsterdam. So far, the transition from beer-soaked dives to velvet-upholstered theaters has been smooth. “You just add a little muscle, turn up the fuzz pedal, and make big rock moves,” Stew says. “And tell the drummer to play like he’s trying to get laid. That always works.” RICHARD GEHR
JOHN MAYER TO HOST THREE-DAY CRUISE On the 13 second day, he jams with Robert Cray, practices his tight-five, and boinks Vicki Stubing
14 JOE STRUMMER MEMORABILIA BOOK DUE He stored his sideburns on acid-free backing boards
15 WRITER’S STRIKE LEADS TO DROUGHT OF 30 ROCK EPISODES It’s been on our mind grapes all winter long
16 PAM ANDERSON TO RETIRE Though she’ll consider a stage version of Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding
ABBA MUSEUM TO OPEN IN STOCKHOLM IN ’09 The 17 “I Do I Do I Do I Do I Diorama” is a letdown, but the “Gimme! Gimme! Gift Store!” has sweet mouse pads
18 BILLY JOEL HANDS SONG TO YOUNG SINGER He was born between verses of “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
19 GERMANS PAID LESS FOR IN RAINBOWS Weirdly, “Faust Arp” translates as “Herr Satchifunkalous”
20 THE SPIN 20, CELEBRATING OUR TENTH BIRTHDAY Fred Durst, we couldn’t have done it without you!
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