Good God, no. Me and Kelley and Todd went to
Indianapolis to see Van Halen. That was awesome.
They came out, and I just wanted to cry with the
excitement. So what I’m saying is that we’re not
as big as Van Halen, of course, but it was so exciting
to see them—and somebody was happy to see us
“mW anohdseetnxbI cow itriia nns gg,dIthri winnk ogi u.nldIgfsi,tittww illaa dss orieth t.ae ”llyfun
play a particular set of songs that they knew.
That’s a good question, and yeah, it’s probably
true. But I don’t know, because I’m on the inside.
I just see [the filmmakers editing it] to create that
particular situation—although I’m not saying we
aren’t awkward. We’ve already talked all that we
wanted to with each other. But I think it’s cute
that it’s awkward. I think [the filmmakers] had an
idea that it would turn into [the 2004 Dandy
Warhols–Brian Jonestown Massacre doc] Dig!,
with the hard drugs and the intense emotions,
even though we told them we’re really boring.
When we turned out not to be like that but also
not like the Monkees or the Beatles or blink-183
or whatever they are—pallin’ around and clownin’
around—then they needed to explain it somehow.
tic, suave voice] “You know, I’ve been working on
some things. Let me play them for you, just to see
what you think.” Dude, please! That’s why I hide
my guitar in the bedroom whenever anybody
comes over, to make sure nothing like that
happens. I just get mortified for people. You’re
going to fucking make somebody endure that?
Just watch out for anybody who has an Ovation
guitar. That’s your clue right there that something
bad is about to happen.
All Tomorrow’s Parties—Shellac curated it in
2002. It was that spring we were in England, and
the Breeders played, and I thought, “Oh my God,
I’m going to die!” They have stronger beer over
there, and I was still drinking the same amount,
so I would wake up and I actually had the shakes.
And you feel it inside, too; your organs shake.
It feels very sick—sickly, like, hospital sick, not
a cool junkie sick. I put myself into rehab over
Christmas break.
house. It was exactly the same thing over and over
again every day—it was the most boring thing. If
it was really fun and exciting, I would still do it. I
would have the idea that I should probably work
on something, but the short-term memory was so
bad, I never really did anything. In the beginning,
it was just weird to be sober. I was stunned by the
length of the day. You just wake up, and you’re like,
“Okay,” and then ten hours later, you’re like, “Is this
ever going to fucking end? God, what do people do
with their fucking day, man?”
Oh yeah. Not doing drugs had such a bad con-
notation for me: If you didn’t do drugs, you were
boring. But now I find it so much more interesting
not to do drugs. I find it way more fraught with
danger—in a good way. Every time I go up and
talk to somebody, it’s like, “Hello, this is going to
be awkward and weird in a few seconds because
I’m fucking part of it.” Which is way more
interesting than it was before. It’s strange and I
really like it. And it’s ugly—it’s so awful and ugly
every day.
It’s sort of back to the acoustic guitar thing, isn’t
it? It’s a little out of my personality to have an
acoustic guitar—“Wait a minute, I swear to God,
check it out, watch.” [Grabs guitar, adopts sarcas-
Rehab’s so boring to talk about. Actually, you know,
if I was reading this before I got sober, I would
think, “Oh, they’re sober—it’s more exciting when
they do drugs.” And it’s okay that anyone might
think that. When I was drinking, it was like, go to
the bar for eight hours or get the 12-pack at the
No. I was skinnier—I think I miss that.
MORE AT SPIN.COM Check out more from Kim
Deal’s long musical history at spin.com/kimdeal
DISCOGRAPHY KIM DEAL
THE BREEDERS
Pod ½
4AD, 1990
Manna for Pixies fans who
craved an entire record like Surfer
Rosa’s sweet and bludgeoning
“Gigantic.” “Hellbound” and
“Fortunately Gone” suggested
Charles Thompson might only
be the second-best aggro-pop
songwriter in his own band, while
Deal’s continued marginalization
made the Pixies’ dissolution both
inevitable and perfectly okay.
THE BREEDERS
Safari
4AD/ELEKTRA, 1992
Before Tanya Donnelly left to form
Belly, she contributed to this four-
song EP, as did Kim’s twin sister,
Kelley (even though she could
barely play guitar). The raucous
cover of the Who’s “So Sad About
Us”—like Pod’s “Happiness Is a
Warm Gun”—shows a reverence
for classic rock that would have
seemed out of place in the Pixies’
insular, oddball universe.
THE BREEDERS
Last Splash ½
4AD/ELEKTRA, 1993
Or maybe it should have
been called Last Laugh?
Deal—now with Kelley playing
a passable guitar—rebounded
from the Pixies’ messy divorce
with a bona fide crossover
hit. “Cannonball” remains one
of the era’s most indelible
singles, and follow-ups “Saints”
and “Divine Hammer” were
nearly as memorable.
THE AMPS
Pacer ½
4AD/ELEKTRA, 1995
With Kelley on the shelf after
a heroin bust, Deal abandoned
the Breeders name and,
influenced by fellow hometown-
drunk-made-good Bob Pollard,
birthed this shambling set.
By barflies for barflies, the
up-tempo “Empty Glasses,”
“Mom’s Drunk,” and “Tipp City”
don’t groove so much as swerve
into oncoming traffic.
THE BREEDERS
Title TK
4AD/ELEKTRA, 2002
Now with Fear’s Richard Presley
and Mando Lopez on guitar and
bass and Jose Medeles
on drums, Deal’s first album
in seven years is, as its name
indicates, a little unsure of itself.
A reprise of Pacer’s rave-up “Full
on Idle” feels like an admission
that the creative coffers weren’t
exactly spilling over during the
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