TOMPKINS: That’s because you
can’t replace Kanye! How dare you
suggest that!
McCOY: [Mimics Kanye] “I want
holograms to do my part! And I want
different outfits for the holograms!”

9 DUFFY “MerCY” The wee Welsh lass channels the spirit of classic soul and invites some obvious comparisons on the biggest hit from her debut. TOMPKINS: She’s the Amy Winehouse who might not be dead in two weeks. McCOY: Or already. TOMPKINS: Good point. When does this article run?

10 THE KILLERS “HuMAN” Brandon Flowers and crew return to the synth-rock safety of Hot Fuss. McCOY: “Are we human or are we dancer?” Is that a quote from something? Is it from a book? I’m trying to figure out what the fuck it means. TOMPKINS: Those two things aren’t necessarily exclusive. You could be a dancing human. McCOY: Maybe we’re tiny human dancers. TOMPKINS: By the end of the song do we find out whether we’re humans or dancers? SPIN: It’s left ambiguous. TOMPKINS: I hate those kinds of endings! McCOY: This reminds me more of their first record. They had a cool Depeche Mode thing going on when they first came out, with the eyeliner and shit. TOMPKINS: I like it when a fella throws on some eyeliner. McCOY: It’s even better if the eyeliner runs. That looks fantastic. TOMPKINS: If Alice Cooper taught us anything, it’s that. McCOY: The band has the wrong name, though. The Killers! I want something more menacing. This is too soft. They should be called the Hurters.

ON McCO Y: BIllIONAIre BOYS CluB S WeATSHIr T, lrG JeANS, OlIver SPeNCer SCArf, DIeSel HAT, JOrDAN SNeAKerS (Ar TIS T’S O WN).

ON TOMPKINS: TOMMY HIlfIGer ruN WAY COlleC TION JACKe T, OPerATIONS SHIr T, OlIver SPeNCer TIe. fOr De TAIlS, See WHere TO Bu Y.

11 BUCKCHERRY “TOO DruNK…” Amid guitars that recall Aerosmith’s funkier moments, Buckcherry’s Joshua Todd spins a tale of licentious inebriation—don’t worry, Dead Kennedys, it’s not a cover. McCOY: Buckcherry are still sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll. A lot of bands have the sex and drugs, but these guys have the trifecta. TOMPKINS: As long as all their fans don’t die from alcohol poisoning, this band will always sell records.

McCOY: Dude’s got a real rock’n’roll voice. There’s
a Mick Jagger swagger to it. A lot of people try
to do that Mick Jagger thing, and Mick was just
trying to be Tina Turner, but this dude pulls it off.
He’s got feel.
TOMPKINS: This sounds like something that was
left off the Another 48 Hours soundtrack.
McCOY: What was eddie Murphy’s name in that
movie?
TOMPKINS: reggie.
McCOY: [Imitates Nick Nolte] “Ah, get the fuck
outta here, reggie.”
TOMPKINS: [Sings along] “We’re gonna get
drunk!” Do you get it? I don’t think it’s a
euphemism.
McCOY: Buckcherry are so artsy. I spend so much
time deciphering their albums.
TOMPKINS: I think I get what he’s talking about.

12 METALLICA “THe DAY THAT Never COMeS” A barrage of double-kick drumming, heroic soloing, and Möbius strip guitar riffs helps metal gods’ angst sound, well, angstier than it has in years. TOMPKINS: Metallica are ridiculous. When I saw Some Kind of Monster, I went in not being a fan and I came out—still not being a fan. But at least I understood why I don’t like them. McCOY: This song is definitely butt rock at its finest. After, like, …And Justice for All, Metallica became the masters of butt rock. SPIN: What’s butt rock? McCOY: Creed. Nickelback. If you wanna go back to the roots, you’ve got Seven Mary Three. TOMPKINS: You know what this sounds like? A Metallica song.