McCOY: There’s a definite Metallica formula. TOMPKINS: I almost feel guilty about not liking this because I know its means something to somebody. But to me it just sounds hilarious. I don’t know what Metallica’s magical formula is, but I know it always results in something that sounds like this.

13 BECK “GAMMA RAY” The towheaded genre-hopper teams up with Danger Mouse for a twangy, psychedelic rocker. McCOY: This is real surf-y. TOMPKINS: Beck’s new thing is surf music. It’s still weird to me that that is the “Loser” guy from 15 years ago. People wrote him off after that. McCOY: Beck’s a genius, man. TOMPKINS: He absolutely is a genius. McCOY: This sounds a little Gnarls Barkley–ish. SPIN: That’s because Danger Mouse coproduced it. McCOY: See that? TOMPKINS: Good call! You’re like a song detective! McCOY: I don’t know—Beck’s voice is a little sleepy. If [Gnarls Barkley’s] Cee-Lo were on this, you’d feel like you were caught by the holy ghost. You’d feel like you were at church. TOMPKINS: And that church was on fire. And then you’d leave the church.

Mc COY: A lot of sweaters, too.
TOMPKINS: A very bearded crowd.
Mc COY: Ben Gibbard’s cool, though. He’s another
guy, like Estelle, who sings great live and on
record.
SPIN: You’re the first person to ever compare Ben
Gibbard and Estelle.
Mc COY: He earns it, man. I’m a huge fan of his
lyrics. He gets straight to the point. No magic
tricks.
TOMPKINS: I forgot how long this song is.
Mc COY: I’ll be honest, I’m getting antsy.

18KID ROCK “ALL SUMMER LONG” Retrospectively obvious, unsurprisingly popular seasonal jam from everyone’s favorite i Tunes holdout. TOMPKINS: [Laughs] Kid Rock! I love that he’s still hanging in there. McCOY: Gym Class Heroes are notorious for using popular songs and making our own crazy hits with them, so I gotta respect this, but it’s a little too safe for me. What’s the sample? “Sweet Home Alabama”?

“As long as their fans don’t die of
alcohol poisoning, Buckcherry will
always sell records.” —Paul F. Tompkins

TOMPKINS: But I love the way he sings, “It’s going
to take some time.” I always appreciate it when
songs describe what’s happening in the song.
Message received, Ben Gibbard.
Mc COY: Death Cab are practical that way.

14 BRITNEY SPEARS “WOMANIZER” Sounds like this girl’s got a chip on her shoulder. It’s about time the media started paying a little attention to her. TOMPKINS: Give it to me, Britney! Give it to me! Who am I kidding? This is not good. McCOY: Britney looks great these days, though. TOMPKINS: It was touch and go there for a while. She’s a good kid. I’m glad she’s still around. I don’t want to listen to her music, but I’m glad she’s still around. McCOY: The melody is like a nursery rhyme. Nursery rhymes never go out of style. TOMPKINS: This song has five words in it. The melody almost reminds me of “The Farmer in the Dell.” McCOY: It’s kinda “I Kissed a Girl”–ish. TOMPKINS: What a medley that would be! McCOY: “I Kissed a Womanizer.” TOMPKINS: I can’t listen to this anymore.

16 JONAS BROTHERS “BURNIN’ UP” The Disney factory’s latest tween idols serve up purity-ring power pop. Mc COY: This sounds like Maroon 5 Jr. TOMPKINS: Come on, these little fellas are trying hard. Mc COY: The whole Disney thing is running the industry. I want to be signed to Disney. I want that demographic. What do I have to do? Do I have to shrink a few inches? Should I shave? TOMPKINS: You need to look more like a chick. I love how all the Disney guys look like girls, but all the girls are hardcore sluts. There’s always camera-phone pictures of them bangin’ someone—usually right around the time the girls are ready to start their own careers.

TOMPKINS: I thought it was
“Werewolves of London.”
SPIN: It’s both.
TOMPKINS: Finally! Someone combined “Sweet
Home Alabama” with “Werewolves of London”!
Everyone can relax!
McCOY: “We were smokin’ funny things”?
TOMPKINS: Since when does Kid Rock beat
around the bush? Who is he suddenly afraid to
offend? “Hey, fellas, my mom might listen to this.
Let’s clean up the drug references.” No matter
how much Lynyrd Skynyrd Kid Rock listens to,
he’s still from Michigan.
McCOY:“Sweet Home Detroit!” “Werewolves of
Alabama!” I got mash-up titles for days.

15DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE “I WILL POSSESS YOUR HEART” The decade’s biggest “bookish” band gently delivers a winsome eight-minute epic about a creepy stalker. TOMPKINS: I saw these guys live for the first time at Radio City Music Hall this year, and I didn’t realize how energetic they were. You don’t expect that with the type of music they make. I also didn’t expect how many glasses were on people’s faces at that show. That might have been the most glasses ever inside Radio City at one time.

17 FALL OUT BOY “I DON’ T CARE” Trading pop punk for glammy disco, Fall Out Boy reveal that they don’t give a whit what you’re thinking, so long as it’s about them. TOMPKINS: This is the first time I’ve ever heard Fall Out Boy. I don’t know how I avoided them for so long. Mc COY: I’m on their label, so I gotta represent. Fall Out Boy are always pulling out cool chord progressions. In the beginning, their music was just sort of normal pop punk, but lately they’ve been putting so much soul into their records. Not pretentious at all. Pete’s lyrics are always great. But this reminds me of an older song. “Shotgun” by Junior Walker, maybe? TOMPKINS: “Spirit in the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum. Mc COY: Shit. It does.

19 KINGS OF LEON “SEX ON FIRE” A gleaming riff-rocker that’s possibly about the unfortunate consequences of having sex with a dirty stranger. TOMPKINS: Great song. McCOY: I love it. The tone of his voice and the way he sings. It’s just really cool. Such a great hook. TOMPKINS: There’s a sense of urgency to this song. It doesn’t necessarily make me want to break things, but I wouldn’t mind if things got broken while I was listening to it. McCOY: I’ll break the shit. TOMPKINS: “He knocked it over! So what! I don’t care!” McCOY: There’s a lyric here where he says, “Head while I’m driving.” You gotta be a pro to do some shit like that. Trust me. My license is suspended. I’ll say no more. Is this about gonorrhea? TOMPKINS: Actually, a lot of their stuff is about gonorrhea. You should hear them introduce the songs in concert. McCOY: “Here’s a song about gonorrhea.” TOMPKINS: “And this other song is also about gonorrhea.” McCOY: “We’re gonna change it up now and do a song about crabs.”