THE YEAR IN WANKSTAS

Since the days of Ice Cube (who attended architecture school before antagonizing the po-po) and Tupac (a literature buff who admitted he crafted his persona to support his family), MCs have been exaggerating their thug bona fides, but 2008 was a watershed year. BEN WESTHOFF

Hey, remember 2008?
Neither do we. But this is how
it panned out music-wise, to
the best of our recollection.

William Leonard “Rick
Ross” Roberts, 32
REP: Husky, bearded head
of international drug cartel
THUG LYRIC: “I know Pablo
Noriega / The real Noriega /
He owe me a hundred favors”
REALITY CHECK: Despite
boasting, “I made a couple
million dollars...dealin’
weight,” he was outed in
July as a former Florida
Department of Corrections
officer who earned less than
$26,000 in June 1997.
HIDDEN CLUE: Best-known
refrain, “Every day I’m
hustlin’,” a likely reference
to his certificate for perfect
attendance on the job.

Aliaune “Akon” Thiam, 35
REP: Carjacking Senagalese-
American hooksmith
THUG LYRIC: “If you looking
for me, I’ll be on the block /
With my thing cocked,
possibly sitting on a drop”
REALI T Y CHECK: Bragged
about years in jail for leading
a “notorious” car-theft ring,
but the stage-humper was
found in April to have only
served a few months for
boosting a Beemer.
HIDDEN CLUE: If your real
name was reported to be
Aliaune Damala Bouga Time
Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara
Akon Thiam, you’d have
identity issues, too.

Algernod Lanier “Plies”
Washington, 32
REP: Oversexed,
trigger-happy hood
THUG LYRIC: “Goon-
affiliated ex-drug dealer /
Résumé solid, street cred
bigger / Clique full of
soldiers / All of us killers”
REALITY CHECK: Though
he wears a ski mask on the
cover of his second album,
Definition of Real, and raps
about doing hard time, his
only arrests were for two
2006 misdemeanors.
HIDDEN CLUE: Insight into
criminal mind likely gleaned
studying sociology at
University of South Florida.

REALLY FUCKING WEIRD

GRAPHIC DETAIL

Charting the course of a very strange year

MARILYN MANSON’S MANSINTHE AS DELICIOUS AS IT SOUNDS

01/08
02/08
03/08

HOT TOPIC: MEXICO CITY ERUPTS IN BLOODY RIOTS OVER EMO

PRETT Y DAMN WEIRD

BRITNEY SPEARS REMOVED FROM HOME IN AMBULANCE; WORLD SHOWS RESPECT AND RESTRAINT AT TROUBLED TIME

KINDA WEIRD

RIVERS CUOMO JOINS ANDY SAMBERG IN THE WORLD’S MOST SOCIALLY AWKWARD CHARITY SOCCER GAME

SNOOP DOGG, LONG LOST

EVIL TWIN ANNOUNCE

PLAN TO GUEST STAR ON

^{O N EL L IF E TO L I V E BARACK OBAMA} WINS BEST

SPOKEN WORD

GRAMMY; YEAR

^{PEAKS EARLY}